It's settled- The Long Story

I want to stay home with my baby.
If you had told me a few years ago that I would say that, I would’ve thought you were crazy. I know some girls dream of getting married and having kids from the time they’re little. They tote around a baby doll, and nurture it as if it were a living creature. I was not one of those girls. Sure, I had dolls, and I even played with them…some. The memories I have of playing with dolls is putting them in their beds, and going outside. I might’ve had one under my arm while playing “army” with my older brother, but that was mostly because I needed someone to out-rank.

When I was in school, I wanted to do BIG things. I wanted to be a paramedic when I was three. It’s rumored I said I wanted to be a truck driver around age six (ok, it isn’t rumor. They got it on tape during a first grade oral book report—some of the parents of other kids remind me of it to this day, and laugh). Throughout most of grade school, and middle school, I wanted to be a country singer. I’ll be honest; I still think that would be about the most fun job ever. In high school, I wanted to be a surgeon. By my senior year, I had changed it to Pediatrician. Although, to be honest, I don’t think I ever REALLY knew what I wanted to do, especially in college.

In college, I changed my focus. I knew I wouldn’t really be happy as a doctor, so I changed my major. I thought about Journalism, but I couldn’t quite picture myself there either. I finally got a broad degree. I thought it was smart. I’d been told that because of how much the job market has been changed by technology in the last several years, it’s no longer wise to go into a career thinking you’ll do it forever. I still wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do, so I thought that was another reason a broad degree would be best. I would have options. That backfired. It turned out that no one really knew what my degree was, so they shied away. They also wanted experience, which I didn’t have. So, I ended up in a job, which my college degree helped me get, that I don’t enjoy at all.

I was thinking about going back to school for another degree. I was researching options, and getting excited. I would go back in the fall. And then, it happened: A positive pregnancy test and a due date for September. Ok, so I would have to wait a little longer to go back to school. In the meantime, I would stay where I’m at. After all, the insurance isn’t too bad, and I’m going to need that over the next several months.

I worked at a daycare in college, and I decided then that I didn’t want my child in daycare. I don’t know what will happen come September. I’m kind of leaving it up to God. In the meantime, I started researching daycare costs in the town we work in, and where we do all of our business. Daycare will take 40% of my take home pay. And then, I read that in this county, almost 60% of daycares are only 1 star facilities. That isn’t very comforting! After I read that, I started researching ways to work from home. So, please pray that either Dean’s job picks up enough that we can afford for me to stay home, or that I can find something to do from home to make up for my income. It’s funny how much God has changed my view and my dreams in the last few years.

P.S-  I told you it was a long story.