Stresses and Doctors. It's getting real.

Remember when I posted something once every week or two? It seems to be getting more frequent now. There is a distinct possibility that the reason for this is the fact that we only have EIGHT weeks left! And, that is assuming she doesn’t try to come early. I’ll be perfectly honest. I’ve been stressing today. My To-Do list is starting to feel more urgent, but it doesn’t stress me out. What stresses me out is that I still have no solution to the childcare problem.


I still really want to stay home. If I were to keep working, I would literally not make anything above and beyond insurance and childcare costs. But, having insurance is important. Do I keep working? Do I try to manage part-time and get an individual insurance plan? (We have not had good luck with those in the past) Do I quit altogether and leave it up to God? I still don’t know. Please pray that God will give us a clear answer.

In other news, I had my doctor’s appointment yesterday. It went well. Unbeknownst to them, I felt quite like an elephant after stepping off the scale. But, the nurse made a comment while measuring me that I was “all belly.” And, the doctor mentioned that she was very pleased with my amount of weight gain. She calmed my fears about epidural side effects, and overall she just made me feel like we are totally on the same page about everything. I love my doctor.

Nursery! (Kind of)

My husband and I had this great idea. We bought some land, and began constructing a small one-bedroom metal building, like a little apartment. That way, we could stop paying rent and actually invest it in something. The payment would be cheaper than rent too, and we could pay off student loans while we lived there. After a couple years, we could build a house and turn it into a guest house, or a workshop. Man, we were so smart. Enter baby: expecting a baby and living in a one bedroom house.


And that is where you see us today. That being said, we obviously don’t have a nursery. Luckily, we made the bedroom a little big so it is actually possible to share our room. It’ll be a little tighter than we had originally planned, but we can make it work. Most of her furniture will fit on one wall, for which we’ve coined the term “Nursery Wall.”

Dean really wanted to make this his project for her, and design/decorate her wall. I happily obliged, because he is much more creative than I am. Although, I find that we really make a great team when we work on something together. I put in my input, and he takes care of the crafty things.

This week, we started decorating the Nursery wall. (Picture quality isn’t that great, but you get the idea)

If you keep up with this blog, you know the bedding is black & white with a little bright pink trim.  So, we took white letters, painted on a black border and added pink polka dots.  Of course, when I say "we," I mean, Dean. 

A close up of the flowers

And, to put it in perspective.  Her crib will go underneath. 

It isn't quite finished, we had originally planned to frame covers from our favorite childrens books.  We have since decided to hang a few shelves and put the books themselves up. 

Baby Shower #1

This past weekend, my family threw the first of three showers. They scheduled it early, since I had to travel for it. We had a good turnout, and it was a lot of fun! 

The Hostesses & Me (minus my mom)
These are two cousins from my Dad's side

Dean took my Dad lunch that day, but came back in time to help me open gifts.

The look on my face is because of Jessie (notice the small head at the bottom of the picture)  Jessie is my cousin's little girl.  She handed me every gift, helped me open each one and gushed over how cute everything was.  So, of course, I had to react the way she did over everything. 

I thought the cake was absolutely ADORABLE! LOVED it!

Quilt my Great-Aunt Izzy made.  Completely handmade at age 84, not too shabby!

Childbirth Class #2: Observations & Realizations

I think I’m going to have to come to grips with the fact that there will inevitably be something in each childbirth class that freaks me out. Last week, it was the birth film. This week, it was forceps:

In person, they are HUGE. The thought of someone pulling on my baby’s head with those was not appealing. Besides, I have to admit, the thought of the effects they would have on me were not too comforting either. The effects a forceps delivery may have on the baby:

- reddened area on the face, which fades within a few days

- small bruises, which should also fade quickly

- temporary damage to baby’s facial nerves, rarely permanent (and just rare in general, but still a little worrisome)

I’ve come to find that my husband is a little distracting in birth class. First, he makes me laugh when we’re supposed to be practicing our breathing and pretending to have a contraction (as if you can really imagine that). To simulate a contraction, the teacher had our husbands squeeze our hand. Ha. Yeah, I really hope contractions are no worse than that. My husband kept asking me, “keep squeezing or stop? Is this okay?” I was sitting on a birthing ball at the time, and the teacher was talking about practicing this at home, meaning the breathing, of course. So, Dean starts talking about using the dog as a practice birthing ball. And finally, the husbands were instructed to massage our backs using paint rollers, tennis balls, and other massage tools, based on what Mother preferred. My husband, the ever-so-helpful, construction minded man that he is, told me he would bring a hand sander to the birth and massage my back.

 Part of me thinks my husband will be an amazing support/coach during the birth of our child. Another part of me wonders if he’ll live through it.

Deborah's Birth: A Horror Film

Last night, Dean and I went to our first childbirth class. We were having fun, and learning a lot, until…


the film. It seems I am in the minority, but I never had sex-ed in school, so I never saw this film. It was a little terrifying. When it was over, I turned to my husband, and said “Holy.Crap.” He wasn’t fazed by it a bit. He says it’s because he’d seen one before. I say it’s because he knows his role in this will be cheerleader/coach. Sure, it’s not as scary for the people on the sidelines. They’re not the ones with the 250 pound linebacker running straight for them. I digress. Though, may I also say that you have to have no concept of modesty to be the center of that film? No one has ever been so exposed as the women in birth films. You’d have to pay me Bill Gates’ salary for me to even consider it.

On another note, I have kind of been on the fence about getting an epidural versus going natural. I went into the class undecided, decided partway through that an epidural was probably the way to go, and by the end was undecided again. There are so many pros and cons. Maybe I’ll have a better idea after next week’s class. We’re going to talk about medication.

Pregnancy Pics

Around Christmas, on my everyday blog, I finally answered the childhood question "What kind of animal would you be?"  I'd never quite been able to answer that question, and at that particular point in my life, I decided I'd be a bear.  It has to do with the fact that it was a hard winter for me, and that on top of that, I absolutely despise the cold.  I hate it with every fiber of my being.  There is only one state between me and the southernmost border of our country, and it still gets too cold here for me. 
But, as we all know, seasons change and so do the seasons of life.  Pregnancy is an interesting season.  Some women feel cute during pregnancy.  And, in general, I don't mind the belly.  I don't feel cute, though.  In fact, I looked in the mirror this week, and this is what I found....

Yes, I am now an elephant. Well, except I'm weaker. And, I don't have the luxury of spending my day in search of a watering hole to cool myself in.

Maternity Clothes

I don’t like them. I long for the day when I can fit into normal clothes again. I thought they were supposed to be big and roomy and comfy. I don’t know why I thought that, but I can tell you, they are not. First problem: the pants. They basically come in 2 fits. You can get them” under the belly”…

But, then single thick elastic band cuts into your belly. I do have a couple pair of hand-me-down shorts like this that don’t cut into my belly. Most do, though, and I’m not sure what the difference is. Maybe they’re old and the elastic has stretched out.

Or, you can get the “secret fit”…

These are a lot more expensive, but the big stretchy panel feels a lot better… until you hit the 3rd trimester and the calendar rolls over into July. Then, it gets hot and itchy.
And, the second problem: shirts are not long enough. Motherhood Maternity actually does a good job on some of theirs. In particular, tank tops.  I would wear these babies everyday if I could. And, I could, if I didn’t work 40 hours a week in a business setting where I have to look professional. I still think I’d be a lot happier if I could spend my days in a pool. I’d stay cool, get exercise, and it is bound to be good for my circulation.
Maternity stores do a great job of making their clothes seem cute and comfy. It’s all a façade though.



What pregnant woman can wear heels like this? There’s no way I could stuff my puffy feet into those. I can’t stuff them into flats, let alone heels!

There. Now you know how I really feel.

An update: Not much is going on

Highlights of this week’s events:


1. Baby girl is moving like crazy!

2. Glucose test: wasn’t as bad as I had expected. I’d heard bad things, but it tasted like orange soda, only not as sweet. Don’t know the results yet.

3. Week 28 OB appt: heartbeat is strong, although it takes a bit to find it nowadays because she is never still. She’s measuring at 29 weeks, but they tell me as long as it’s within 2 weeks not to worry.

4. I’ve been hearing stories of gender determination being wrong, but the PA assures me it is very rare.



Things to Do:

1. Childbirth classes (we’re signed up & ready to go)

2. Meet with pediatrician

3. Finish house 

4. Decorate “nursery wall”

5. Figure out childcare (Still praying I can stay home, but have no idea how that is going to work out. Prayers are appreciated. I can’t afford not to work, but can’t afford daycare either)

6. Lots of other things I haven’t even thought of yet. I’m a beginner, after all!