Consolidation- follow me there!

My consolidation of blogs is now complete.  To continue reading my blog, please refer to:  http://raisingdinah.blogspot.com/

I will no longer be posting at this address. 

Thanks for reading!!

Remember When...

Remember when I had a baby, and finally got around to writing about it two weeks later?  Remember when I took a month to get around to posting pictures of said baby?  I shall now attempt the impossible:  uploading pics despite a spotty internet connection. 

Nope.  Still no luck.  Well, she's really cute.  You'll just have to take my word for it.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I must call and harass the internet provider. 

Remember when I posted after a month long hiatus, and still didn't say anything of note? 

D-Day

I was scheduled for induction the morning of Sept. 22nd.  I didn't want an induction, and was praying that little britches would decide to come on her own.  And this is what happened...

I had taken Monday and Tuesday off work to get things done, and get some rest before my induction on Wednesday.  I ran some errands on Monday, and just relaxed on Tuesday.  On Tuesday evening, around 6pm, my water broke.  I went for a walk and ate supper, because I wasn't sure if that was it or not.  I was not having any contractions.  Finally, we decided to go to the hospital.  They checked me and said yes it was amniotic fluid and I was there to stay.  My mom was already there, and my in-laws were on their way down that night, so we called and told them to come by the hospital instead of going to our house. They started me on Pitocin at 10pm, because I still was not having contractions and was not dilating.  I tried to take a nap, but it was hard to sleep with an IV and a blood pressure cuff that checked me every 30 minutes.  So, I watched some TV, and waited.  Once my contractions started, they were very sporadic.  Some were very close together, and some were spaced out, and a lot of times I would have 3-4 with no time in-between. 

At 4am, I was exhausted (I'm not good at staying up late), and finally dilated to 4cm.  Contractions were still very sporadic, so I decided to get the epidural. I told the nurse I just wanted to sleep.  Best decision ever.  The nurse left to let me try to sleep, and said she would be back in a couple hours to check me again.  She came back an hour and a half later, and I was ready to push!  It took hours to get to 4cm before the epidural, and an hour and a half to dilate 5cm more after the epi.  So, I pushed a couple times, and then...shift change!  The new nurse was much more inexperienced and kept wanting to have me lay on my side for a few minutes because she thought the baby was turned a little sideways.  Finally, the doctor came in and checked me, and said the baby was fine to go ahead and start pushing. 

So, at 9:51am on September 22, we had a precious baby girl.  Dinah Clare weighed 8lbs, 2 oz and was almost 22 inches long.  She has my nose and hands, and her daddy's mouth, and dimple chin, and strawberry blonde hair just like her Grandpa.  We couldn't be more happy with her.  And, I couldn't have gotten through without my sweet husband.  He was so much help during both labor and delivery, and has already proven to be an amazing Daddy.  I never had to change a single diaper until she was 3 days old.  Dinah is pretty taken with him too.  She watches him intently when he talks to her.  She doesn't pay that much attention to me or anyone else when we talk to her.  She's been a daddy's girl since the day she was born. 

Hopefully I can post pictures soon.  Our internet is not cooperating right now. 

The Answer

About six months ago, I poured out my heart and the changes therein, about staying at home. Now, it’s my last day of work before I go on maternity leave, and I finally have a plan, a compromise.


In a few weeks (the exact number of which is still to be determined), I will return to work, but only on a part-time basis. I never could reconcile my brain to the thought of daycare, and it would have taken a big chunk of my check anyway. It just didn’t seem worth it. But, if I didn’t work, I couldn’t pay for insurance.

Long story short, I will be off two days a week, Dean will start working longer shifts and be off one day a week, and a friend of ours will be taking care of our sweet baby the remaining two days. Problem solved. We will have to get an individual insurance plan, which I know will be far inferior to the group plan we’re on now, but it’s a trade we’re willing to make in order to be home with her ourselves or at least have her with someone we know and trust.

As I mentioned, I start maternity leave after today.  I will spend the weekend with my husband and mother.  Monday and Tuesday, I will finish up any last minute things and get some rest, hopefully.  And, bright and early Wednesday morning, we head to the hospital for our induction.  This could all change, of course, if our new arrival decides to come earlier.  That would be perfectly fine with us.  I am not looking forward to an induction, but the doctor tells us she's looking like she's big and that my hips are pretty narrow.  We're afraid an induction could cause me to need a c-section, but we're also afraid that if we don't induce she won't have room and I'll end up with one anyway.  It's a catch 22.  So, please pray that she'll come before her induction (even if it's the night before!) and that she'll be small enough to get out with no problems. 

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Good:
Still just 1 cm dilated, but baby has dropped even more, and starting to have occasional period-like cramps. I asked to drop to part-time at work, and they finally approved it this week.
The Bad:
The house is still not finished, though we just lack the living room. There apparently isn’t much room in my hips, hope this doesn’t lead to a c-section! I’m more and more tired each day.

The Ugly:
My attitude. I’m so ready to have this baby! I’m ready for some family time. I’m ready to be able to reach my feet. I’m ready to be off work. The more tired I get, the crankier I get. Not good.

Antsy

Antsy


I should not be getting antsy. After all, I still do not have a living room. Actually, I don’t have a kitchen sink, yet. My bag is not packed (list is made though, and I’ve gotten it started). The baby blankets are not washed. And, technically, she’s not full-term until Saturday. But, I am. I’m getting really antsy. In all reality, though, things are done enough that we could get by if she were to come early. We have diapers and wipes, some clothes, and her sheet is washed and on the bed. My day typically looks like this:

6:15am- get up, aching & groaning, and complain about the fact that I’m awake
7:15am- drive to work in a daze
8:00am- clock in and cry because I'm not at home
8:00am-5:00pm- try to get some work done while yawning, and thinking about all the things I need to get     done at home. Wish my water would break, because having a newborn is bound to be more restful than this. Realize how tired I must be to think that.
5:00pm- clock out, and drive home in a daze
5:45pm-9:45pm- cook supper, clean & organize or pack a few things, then crash out of exhaustion
10:00-10:30pm- finally fall into bed
11:00pm-6:00am- toss & turn…and ache and groan, make about 327 trips to the bathroom
6:00am- alarm goes off. Roll back over, and pray that I don’t have to get up. Wish I could stay home and take a couple naps, organizing & cleaning & packing in between.

36 Week Check-up

Technically, I won’t be 36 weeks until Saturday, but I figure its close enough to count it. I had my doctor’s appointment today. Things are looking good. Here’s a quick run-down:


*weight gain is still right on track (yeah, go me!)
*baby is head-down, just like she's supposed to be (good girl)
*did the group B strep thing, so that’s out of the way
*dilated to 1cm
*next appointment in two weeks

We’re on the down-hill slide. She could make it the next four weeks to her due date or it could be a week. It’s just a waiting game…again. In the meantime, we have lots to accomplish. How about another list?

*meet with pediatrician (tomorrow)
*finish construction (progress is being made, Dean is off work the rest of the week)
*church baby shower on Sunday (hopefully we’ll get the rest of what we need)
*fix back passenger door on car (it’s stuck shut- might need it to function with baby here)
*clean car (it’s been a construction vehicle for awhile, need to transform it to babymobile)
*pack bag for the hospital (No, I haven’t done it yet. I have a list made though)
*wash baby clothes
*install car seat
*get a haircut (maybe not a necessity, but I need to look cute before I deliver, right?)
*pedicure (What? This is my list. I can put on it what I wish.)

The 3 Stages of Maternity Wear

I’ve learned something about maternity clothes. They go in stages. When my regular clothes began to get uncomfortable, I bought a couple pair of maternity pants I could wear to work and a few shirts. I remember putting them on and thinking “Ahh…that feels MUCH better.” The pants had a thick elastic band at the top. I’d heard the “secret fit” was best, but these were cheaper and felt way better than regular clothes. How much better could the others be, anyway? I call that, Stage 1.


Then, as I got bigger, the band started to cut into my growing belly and get uncomfortable. The shirts I had gotten still fit well. I KNEW I’d made a good choice on those shirts. I had figured they could grow with me. At that point, my sweet Mama bought me a couple pairs of slacks with that special “secret fit” panel. It was just a wide stretchy band that could be folded over or worn up over the belly. “Ahh, I thought. THAT feels much better.” Also around that time, some friends of mine gave me some hand-me-down maternity clothes, mostly shirts, but also a few shorts. Now, I was SET. I call that, Stage 2.

And now, the pants with the band cut into me and are quite uncomfortable. The wide elastic panel either slips down if it’s folded over, or gets itchy if it’s stretched up. Also at this point, the majority of my shirts are not long enough anymore. I have a couple that have actually grown with me quite well. For the most part, they’ve all become too short. I even wear a skirt to work every so often. That is also unusual for me. I’m not a skirt/dress kind of girl. Usually, I reserve skirts and dresses for weddings, funerals and church. After almost 2 years at my job, this is the first time I’ve worn a skirt to work. I’m beginning to think if I had a long, sleeveless dress, I would wear it every day. But, now that I’m less than 6 weeks out, I don’t want to buy anything new. My second choice would be a tank top and comfy shorts, but I can’t wear that to work. I call this, Stage 3.

Tidbits

Have I mentioned that I have very swollen feet? Because, I do, I have very swollen feet. Strangely enough, my left foot is always a little more swollen than my right. The other night, it was a lot more swollen than the right, as in, twice as big. Last week, my doctor explained the reason for that. I’m always so fascinated by things like that. Apparently, it is quite common for one foot to be more swollen than the other. The uterus generally tilts to the right, and as it grows, it pushes on the organs and blood vessels, and therefore inhibits blood flow to the right foot. It seems I’m backwards. So, there’s an interesting tidbit for the day.


As I mentioned last week, my induction date has been scheduled. We pray she comes on her own, and I don’t have to be induced. That date is just over 5 weeks away. She will be 37 weeks, or full term, in less than 3 weeks. There’s another tidbit. Excuse me while I hyperventilate.

Doctor, Doctor, Give me the News...

I like doctor’s appointments. No, really, I do. Okay, I take that back. I like OB appointments. I get off work, go visit my great doctor, hear about how awesome I’ve done this pregnancy, and hear baby girl’s heartbeat. In fact, I only gained ONE pound in the last two weeks, and at this point, the baby should be gaining half a pound a week. That’s all about to change though. I’m in the home stretch. She will be here in no more than 6 weeks. So, if you’ve ever had kids, you know what those last few appointments entail. I don’t think I’m going to like them anymore. Except… I will still like getting a couple hours off work. I guess that means I will still like them. I also like going to the OB, because we have the same last name. The receptionist always looks at me funny when she asks my name and my doctor’s name and I just repeat the same thing. I did not do that on purpose. But, let’s be honest, if I’d thought of it when I chose my doctor, I totally would have chosen her for that reason. That’s how I roll. Hey, it’s as good a reason as any. I didn’t know anything about any of the other doctors either. I had just been referred to the practice as a whole.


Oh. I should probably give more of an update than “I like getting off work to go to the doctor. I like my doctor. I only gained a pound.” Let’s see… Dean was a little disappointed that the baby didn’t kick the Doppler thing again this time. He thought it was funny the first time, and that two visits in a row would be extra funny. He’s a weird guy, what can I say? That’s why I married him. That and he is really hot. Oh, and, I loved him to death. Heartbeat is good. Did I mention I only gained a pound? I’m feeling much less elephant-like. Then, they told me that next week starts the “fun” appointments and they will be checking for Group B Strep. Why do they insist on doing this to me? I say nice things about them, I give them all my money, and this is the thanks I get. And finally, they scheduled an induction for 6 weeks from yesterday. YIKES! I’m not big on induction, but it is just 3 days before my due date, and I understand my doctor’s concerns for letting me go over. Besides, I probably won’t make it that long anyway. At least, that’s the general consensus, trained professionals and the general population alike.

You Mean I'm not an Elephant?

That’s what the doctor’s office tells me. I don’t know if I believe them entirely, though. My doctor tells me reassuring things all the time, like not to listen to the horror stories about labor and delivery because, “It will be the most incredible day of your life.” What does she know? She’s only been delivering babies for 15 years, and given birth to two of her own. And, I’ve never done this before.


Last week’s appointment was good for my self-esteem though. They called me back, and we stopped off at the scales, like we always do. I dread that part. I hand my purse to Dean, and start fantasizing about taking off my shoes, and jewelry, and anything else I can get by with in hopes of getting a digit or two lower. The scale balanced on a number, and I shot Dean a look of despair and horror. I stepped off, and trampled down the hall. Boy, those halls were narrow. They obviously weren’t made for elephants. The nurse came in, checked my blood pressure, started taking my measurements and said, “Man, you’re all baby, aren’t you?” I smiled, and sighed a little. “That’s what I like to hear!” I said. Then, the doctor came in, looked at my chart and smiling brightly said, “You’ve only gained __ pounds!” I’d been thinking about how much I weighed, and how that’s by far the biggest I’ve ever been. It never occurred to me how much I’d put on. My weight gain has been perfectly normal. I walked out of there, feeling like a pregnant woman, but no longer an elephant.

Stresses and Doctors. It's getting real.

Remember when I posted something once every week or two? It seems to be getting more frequent now. There is a distinct possibility that the reason for this is the fact that we only have EIGHT weeks left! And, that is assuming she doesn’t try to come early. I’ll be perfectly honest. I’ve been stressing today. My To-Do list is starting to feel more urgent, but it doesn’t stress me out. What stresses me out is that I still have no solution to the childcare problem.


I still really want to stay home. If I were to keep working, I would literally not make anything above and beyond insurance and childcare costs. But, having insurance is important. Do I keep working? Do I try to manage part-time and get an individual insurance plan? (We have not had good luck with those in the past) Do I quit altogether and leave it up to God? I still don’t know. Please pray that God will give us a clear answer.

In other news, I had my doctor’s appointment yesterday. It went well. Unbeknownst to them, I felt quite like an elephant after stepping off the scale. But, the nurse made a comment while measuring me that I was “all belly.” And, the doctor mentioned that she was very pleased with my amount of weight gain. She calmed my fears about epidural side effects, and overall she just made me feel like we are totally on the same page about everything. I love my doctor.

Nursery! (Kind of)

My husband and I had this great idea. We bought some land, and began constructing a small one-bedroom metal building, like a little apartment. That way, we could stop paying rent and actually invest it in something. The payment would be cheaper than rent too, and we could pay off student loans while we lived there. After a couple years, we could build a house and turn it into a guest house, or a workshop. Man, we were so smart. Enter baby: expecting a baby and living in a one bedroom house.


And that is where you see us today. That being said, we obviously don’t have a nursery. Luckily, we made the bedroom a little big so it is actually possible to share our room. It’ll be a little tighter than we had originally planned, but we can make it work. Most of her furniture will fit on one wall, for which we’ve coined the term “Nursery Wall.”

Dean really wanted to make this his project for her, and design/decorate her wall. I happily obliged, because he is much more creative than I am. Although, I find that we really make a great team when we work on something together. I put in my input, and he takes care of the crafty things.

This week, we started decorating the Nursery wall. (Picture quality isn’t that great, but you get the idea)

If you keep up with this blog, you know the bedding is black & white with a little bright pink trim.  So, we took white letters, painted on a black border and added pink polka dots.  Of course, when I say "we," I mean, Dean. 

A close up of the flowers

And, to put it in perspective.  Her crib will go underneath. 

It isn't quite finished, we had originally planned to frame covers from our favorite childrens books.  We have since decided to hang a few shelves and put the books themselves up. 

Baby Shower #1

This past weekend, my family threw the first of three showers. They scheduled it early, since I had to travel for it. We had a good turnout, and it was a lot of fun! 

The Hostesses & Me (minus my mom)
These are two cousins from my Dad's side

Dean took my Dad lunch that day, but came back in time to help me open gifts.

The look on my face is because of Jessie (notice the small head at the bottom of the picture)  Jessie is my cousin's little girl.  She handed me every gift, helped me open each one and gushed over how cute everything was.  So, of course, I had to react the way she did over everything. 

I thought the cake was absolutely ADORABLE! LOVED it!

Quilt my Great-Aunt Izzy made.  Completely handmade at age 84, not too shabby!

Childbirth Class #2: Observations & Realizations

I think I’m going to have to come to grips with the fact that there will inevitably be something in each childbirth class that freaks me out. Last week, it was the birth film. This week, it was forceps:

In person, they are HUGE. The thought of someone pulling on my baby’s head with those was not appealing. Besides, I have to admit, the thought of the effects they would have on me were not too comforting either. The effects a forceps delivery may have on the baby:

- reddened area on the face, which fades within a few days

- small bruises, which should also fade quickly

- temporary damage to baby’s facial nerves, rarely permanent (and just rare in general, but still a little worrisome)

I’ve come to find that my husband is a little distracting in birth class. First, he makes me laugh when we’re supposed to be practicing our breathing and pretending to have a contraction (as if you can really imagine that). To simulate a contraction, the teacher had our husbands squeeze our hand. Ha. Yeah, I really hope contractions are no worse than that. My husband kept asking me, “keep squeezing or stop? Is this okay?” I was sitting on a birthing ball at the time, and the teacher was talking about practicing this at home, meaning the breathing, of course. So, Dean starts talking about using the dog as a practice birthing ball. And finally, the husbands were instructed to massage our backs using paint rollers, tennis balls, and other massage tools, based on what Mother preferred. My husband, the ever-so-helpful, construction minded man that he is, told me he would bring a hand sander to the birth and massage my back.

 Part of me thinks my husband will be an amazing support/coach during the birth of our child. Another part of me wonders if he’ll live through it.

Deborah's Birth: A Horror Film

Last night, Dean and I went to our first childbirth class. We were having fun, and learning a lot, until…


the film. It seems I am in the minority, but I never had sex-ed in school, so I never saw this film. It was a little terrifying. When it was over, I turned to my husband, and said “Holy.Crap.” He wasn’t fazed by it a bit. He says it’s because he’d seen one before. I say it’s because he knows his role in this will be cheerleader/coach. Sure, it’s not as scary for the people on the sidelines. They’re not the ones with the 250 pound linebacker running straight for them. I digress. Though, may I also say that you have to have no concept of modesty to be the center of that film? No one has ever been so exposed as the women in birth films. You’d have to pay me Bill Gates’ salary for me to even consider it.

On another note, I have kind of been on the fence about getting an epidural versus going natural. I went into the class undecided, decided partway through that an epidural was probably the way to go, and by the end was undecided again. There are so many pros and cons. Maybe I’ll have a better idea after next week’s class. We’re going to talk about medication.

Pregnancy Pics

Around Christmas, on my everyday blog, I finally answered the childhood question "What kind of animal would you be?"  I'd never quite been able to answer that question, and at that particular point in my life, I decided I'd be a bear.  It has to do with the fact that it was a hard winter for me, and that on top of that, I absolutely despise the cold.  I hate it with every fiber of my being.  There is only one state between me and the southernmost border of our country, and it still gets too cold here for me. 
But, as we all know, seasons change and so do the seasons of life.  Pregnancy is an interesting season.  Some women feel cute during pregnancy.  And, in general, I don't mind the belly.  I don't feel cute, though.  In fact, I looked in the mirror this week, and this is what I found....

Yes, I am now an elephant. Well, except I'm weaker. And, I don't have the luxury of spending my day in search of a watering hole to cool myself in.

Maternity Clothes

I don’t like them. I long for the day when I can fit into normal clothes again. I thought they were supposed to be big and roomy and comfy. I don’t know why I thought that, but I can tell you, they are not. First problem: the pants. They basically come in 2 fits. You can get them” under the belly”…

But, then single thick elastic band cuts into your belly. I do have a couple pair of hand-me-down shorts like this that don’t cut into my belly. Most do, though, and I’m not sure what the difference is. Maybe they’re old and the elastic has stretched out.

Or, you can get the “secret fit”…

These are a lot more expensive, but the big stretchy panel feels a lot better… until you hit the 3rd trimester and the calendar rolls over into July. Then, it gets hot and itchy.
And, the second problem: shirts are not long enough. Motherhood Maternity actually does a good job on some of theirs. In particular, tank tops.  I would wear these babies everyday if I could. And, I could, if I didn’t work 40 hours a week in a business setting where I have to look professional. I still think I’d be a lot happier if I could spend my days in a pool. I’d stay cool, get exercise, and it is bound to be good for my circulation.
Maternity stores do a great job of making their clothes seem cute and comfy. It’s all a façade though.



What pregnant woman can wear heels like this? There’s no way I could stuff my puffy feet into those. I can’t stuff them into flats, let alone heels!

There. Now you know how I really feel.

An update: Not much is going on

Highlights of this week’s events:


1. Baby girl is moving like crazy!

2. Glucose test: wasn’t as bad as I had expected. I’d heard bad things, but it tasted like orange soda, only not as sweet. Don’t know the results yet.

3. Week 28 OB appt: heartbeat is strong, although it takes a bit to find it nowadays because she is never still. She’s measuring at 29 weeks, but they tell me as long as it’s within 2 weeks not to worry.

4. I’ve been hearing stories of gender determination being wrong, but the PA assures me it is very rare.



Things to Do:

1. Childbirth classes (we’re signed up & ready to go)

2. Meet with pediatrician

3. Finish house 

4. Decorate “nursery wall”

5. Figure out childcare (Still praying I can stay home, but have no idea how that is going to work out. Prayers are appreciated. I can’t afford not to work, but can’t afford daycare either)

6. Lots of other things I haven’t even thought of yet. I’m a beginner, after all!

To-Do List

I realized this morning that I hadn’t updated in 2 weeks. There really hasn’t been much going on. Baby girl gets stronger and more active (and bigger) everyday, so I feel her moving a lot. I read recently that some of the movements I feel are probably hiccups. I can’t believe the time is going so fast. The first trimester was a little slow, the second trimester flew, and now we’re starting the third. I’m guessing the time will pass quickly, since there is more to do in the last 3 months. My next prenatal appointment is next week, and after that I’ll start going every 2 weeks instead of every 4. The following week, we start our birthing classes. And, of course, there are things to do like meet with pediatricians, figure out childcare (Please be praying for that one. I would much rather stay home with her), finish our house (we’re about ready to move into half, but still have to finish the other half), go to baby showers, and decorate her space. And all of that while working full-time. Whew!

Speaking of decorating, we recently came in possession of a crib bedding set. We bought one a month or two ago from a friend of a friend. We didn’t love it, but it was cute, and it was a great price. Dean thought, if nothing else, it would be nice to have a backup. It is pale pink & green, with some obscure japanese drawings.  And then, last weekend, another set came into our lives.  I like it so much better and it was a gift, so the price was right.  I don't have pics yet, but just to give you an idea:

It's partly this fabric.

And it's partly this fabric. 

And it's trimmed in bright pink.  It's just more my style.  And, I feel like I have more decorating options. 

A Mover and a Shaker

I haven’t written anything in several weeks, because, well I’m lazy…and tired.


I’m wrapping up my 24th week of pregnancy. I’ve learned that saying it in weeks means nothing to most people. So, as of this weekend, I’ll be 6 months. She’s moving more and more, and we can often see the movement as well as feel it. Dean LOVES to feel her move.

This is how big she’s getting:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My ankles and feet are still swelling like crazy. I’m convinced that if I had a pool, and didn’t have to work, a number of my problems would be obsolete. That includes the swollen ankles. Well, the ankles would be much improved anyway. At least I’d stay cool, get vitamin D from the sun, and get more exercise. Not to mention, my mood is directly associated with sun and warmth.


The baby has reached the point of “viability.” This means, if she were born now, heaven forbid, she would have a chance at surviving. We don’t want to test it though. It’s too risky, she would have a much greater chance of health problems, and I’m just flat not ready.

We have several things coming up. In the next couple weeks, I have to go in for my Glucose test, which tests for gestational diabetes. This consists of fasting for at least an hour before the test. Then, they give you a big, sugary drink, which you must consume in less than 5 minutes. Here’s what the drink looks like…

Photo courtesy of: ourmiraclepeanut.blogspot.com/2009/07/1-hour-...

And, finally, sit and wait for an hour, because blood must be drawn exactly one hour after you drink it.

My next prenatal appointment is the beginning of July, and after that, my appointments will increase from every four weeks to every two weeks. I don’t mind. I try to schedule them as late in the day as possible, which is usually 3:30pm, so it means a slightly shortened work day.

We’re also signed up to start our Childbirth classes in July. They will be 2 ½ hours , one night a week for 5 weeks. It covers signs of premature labor, stages of labor, coping tools, breathing and relaxation, a birth film, medications, a labor and delivery room tour, well-baby topics (that part sounds kind of boring though…I’m pretty sure I can bathe a baby), and nutrition.

Cankles?!

Once upon a time…

I had ankles. No, it’s true.
See?

That’s all changed now. Now I’ve entered the world of cankles. I never in a million years thought I’d see myself here. Oh, but I’m here. And, apparently, I’m here to stay… at least for another four months or so. For now, I am resigned to this…

I used to wear cute shoes too. I have the perfect job in regard to shoes, because I sit a lot, so comfort isn’t an issue.

I could wear these...

Or these...

Not anymore. Now I wear flip flops everywhere I go. So, my latest challenge was to find some flip flops that were semi-dressy to wear to work, that wouldn’t cut off circulation to my ever-expanding feet. (Dean says by the end of this pregnancy I’m going to look like the Michelin tire man. He’s very supportive.) And, let me tell you, this was not an easy task. I was already a little picky about my flip flops. It can’t be too thick between the toes. They have to have a somewhat comfortable/padded sole. And, I refuse to pay over a certain amount. They’re flip flops, after all. There’s not much too them.

I searched high and low, store after store, all the while my feet were becoming more and more squished and uncomfortable. Yesterday, I went on yet another search. At this point, with barely any circulation left and birthday money from my mother-in-law (Thanks, mother-in-law!), I widened my search and my price range. Then, I found these…

According to the sticker, the sole is actually made out of the same material as a yoga mat. Interesting, I thought, so I slipped it on my foot. Oh. My. Goodness. It felt wonderful! The only problem was the extra strap across the top. It fit okay for now, but just barely. I knew if my feet were to swell anymore, and I knew inevitably they would (these were size 10 mind you, and I usually wear 8 ½), the blissful cushion would no longer matter. So, I kept searching.

And, finally…finally, I found these:  (Yes, I'm wearing them in the cankle picture)

Cute. Sorta dressy. And most importantly, super comfy. We have a winner. My feet will be eternally grateful.

My First Mother's Day

I kind of thought Mother’s Day would officially start for me next year. Sure, I’m a mother now, but I don’t have to change diapers, or get up in the middle of the night. I am more conscious of what I eat, but I should be anyway. I take my prenatal vitamins, but it doesn’t take much effort.

My husband, however, has a different opinion on this. He thought Mother’s Day this year was just as important as any other year. I really appreciate how thoughtful my husband can be, and I love the way he thinks!

He decided the most appropriate gift to give me this year was a rocking chair. He purposely bought one with rounded arms, to protect toddling heads in the future. He picked the wood color to match the crib, and the seat color to tie in with the rest of the room.

(The pic doesn’t show the color that well, it’s a cream color cushion, and espresso colored finish)

Its hits like a ton of bricks...again

I think I’m pregnant. No, really. I think I am. Dean has known this for awhile. I still find it so surreal sometimes that I have to be reminded. He says I’m in denial. I can’t help it! It’s a hard thing to get used to. Life as we know it will cease to exist, and we’ll be thrown into an entirely new one; One in which I will be responsible for the life of another human being. I’ve been responsible for dogs before, and cats, and lambs, and a horse. This is way bigger. They’re more demanding. And, I can’t just ignore them and sleep for an extra hour before tending to its needs…or I should say HER needs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still excited, it’s just a little overwhelming, and like I said, surreal. But, it’s getting harder to deny the pregnancy. I suppose that’s expected when you’re halfway through it! If I’m not pregnant, I want to know what the heck I hate that is trying to kick its way out. I’m confident now that what I’ve been feeling is kicking. I wasn’t sure for awhile. And, if I’m not pregnant, I’m becoming a whale. I knew I was getting bigger, but I wasn’t sure if it was that noticeable to other people yet. Then, my sister-in-law asked for pictures, and when I saw them I was amazed. Looking at pictures and looking in the mirror are two totally different things. And finally, a complete stranger asked me when I was due. I think that’s when it really hit me. Oh yeah, I guess I should know something is up after the ultrasound last week. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m pregnant. And that means…What on earth am I going to do? How do I know what car seat is safest, what crib is sturdiest, what items I really need and which ones are not necessary? And maybe more importantly, what am I forgetting? (At this point, I’m going to ignore the whole labor and delivery thing altogether.)

It's a...

Our mystery is solved.  You've got to love modern technology.  Thanks to ultrasound equipment, and a cute sonographer (whose husband is apparently a coworker of mine...small world), we found out we're having a girl.  We're so excited!  We would've been just as excited for a boy, but the suspense was killing us! 

I've always thought ultrasound pics were hard to distinguish what was what.  I still feel this way, but we'll give it a shot!  (I apologize for the poor quality, the scanners are not working too well this morning so I had to improvise) 

This is her face, and her little upper body.

And this is a side view of her face, and her arm...if you can find it!

And this is a pic of her feet side by side.  I think its my favorite!

If you can make out any of those pictures, you get a gold star.  It's a little like trying to find Waldo.  It's fun to try though!  I have the advantage, because I'm her mother, and I have the originals...and because the expert told me :)  It was a lot of fun to see her moving around, and hearing the heartbeat.  I think my Grandma is right.  She's going to be so sweet!  And why wouldn't she be?  Look at her mother! ;)

Oh, and I think she needs this shirt...

And the Countdown Continues...

Countdown Clock by Zoodu.com

Predictions: 
people who say it's a boy-  4 (our grandparents)
people who say it's a girl-  EVERYBODY else

Time will tell.  I've already been having a talk with little britches.  "You had better cooperate, because Mommy can't afford another ultrasound."

Countdown...

I think I told you how much it’s driving Dean crazy having to wait to find out the gender. He keeps saying he wants to know what we’re having. I keep telling him, we’re having a human and that I’m 50% sure it’s going to be a boy. He doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do. But, now we have a date to look forward to. Our ultrasound is scheduled for April 27 at 3pm. Let the countdown begin!


(And that baby better cooperate. Ultrasounds are expensive.)

Swollen Ankles

I had my monthly prenatal appointment yesterday. The wait was MUCH shorter this time, which was good. I hate sitting for long periods of time. I do that every day at work; I don’t want to do it anywhere else. It was a pretty uneventful visit, but that’s probably a good thing. We did the usual check the heartbeat, check my measurements, and check my blood pressure. All was well with that. My ankles have been swelling this week, and I made sure to ask her about that. I didn’t expect for that to happen this soon. Dr. Anderson was not concerned at all. She just told me it’s going to get worse, and asked if I could wear flip flops to work. The most notable part of the visit was when they faxed over the ultrasound order. We’ll have our big ultrasound in 3 more weeks! Dean is excited to know if we’re having a boy or girl, the wait is killing him. I’m excited about that, but I’m just as excited to see our baby with arms and legs. Our last ultrasound was at not quite 7 weeks, so we saw a head and body and that’s about it. A friend gave me a bunch of old maternity clothes, so I’ve been having fun picking through them the last couple days. It’s nice to have things to wear without having to wear the same stuff every few days! Now, if I can convince my boss that I need to wear flip flops everyday, I'll be good. 

Planning, Freaking Out & Cloth Diapers

At the end of this week, I’ll be 16 weeks. It occurred to me yesterday that 16 weeks = 4 months. That makes it seem more real! So far, I’ve been taking it easy, and not worrying about a lot of things. I have plenty of time, right? Not at this rate! People are starting to talk to me about baby showers, and hand-me-down bassinets; which makes me think I should be planning something. I have to figure out when to take birthing classes, and when to start interviewing pediatricians, and I’m sure there are about a million other things I am not even thinking of! When do I need to start a registry? And for the love of Pete, how much longer do I have to wait to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?! (The answer to that is about another month…ugh. I hate waiting). As you can tell, I tend to freak out a little every so often. I’m usually pretty laid-back, and stress-free in general though, so my freak out sessions never last very long, and they really don’t come too often. I’m very thankful for the friends/family who say things like, “I have some maternity clothes for you, I’ll bring them such-and-such day” or “I have the following items left over from my baby, I’d love to give them to you.”

I seriously considered cloth diapering for awhile. Although I would only do that if I was able to stay home, and still use disposables for weekends with Grandma or a morning in the church nursery. I did some research, and found that whether or not they are really any more environmentally friendly is debated. I also did research on cost, and discovered it really isn’t much cheaper (if at all) when you factor in cost of extra laundry, etc. The upside is that you can re-sell cloth diapers or use them for future children, but there’s no guarantee there will be any more. Another benefit to cloth is that they tend to potty train easier, but I figure that’s why they make training underwear. There are also other downsides to cloth, for instance you have to be careful what kinds of cream you use, particularly doctor-prescribed creams. So, the hippie side of me did not prevail this time. I think Dean is secretly relieved.

It's settled- The Long Story

I want to stay home with my baby.
If you had told me a few years ago that I would say that, I would’ve thought you were crazy. I know some girls dream of getting married and having kids from the time they’re little. They tote around a baby doll, and nurture it as if it were a living creature. I was not one of those girls. Sure, I had dolls, and I even played with them…some. The memories I have of playing with dolls is putting them in their beds, and going outside. I might’ve had one under my arm while playing “army” with my older brother, but that was mostly because I needed someone to out-rank.

When I was in school, I wanted to do BIG things. I wanted to be a paramedic when I was three. It’s rumored I said I wanted to be a truck driver around age six (ok, it isn’t rumor. They got it on tape during a first grade oral book report—some of the parents of other kids remind me of it to this day, and laugh). Throughout most of grade school, and middle school, I wanted to be a country singer. I’ll be honest; I still think that would be about the most fun job ever. In high school, I wanted to be a surgeon. By my senior year, I had changed it to Pediatrician. Although, to be honest, I don’t think I ever REALLY knew what I wanted to do, especially in college.

In college, I changed my focus. I knew I wouldn’t really be happy as a doctor, so I changed my major. I thought about Journalism, but I couldn’t quite picture myself there either. I finally got a broad degree. I thought it was smart. I’d been told that because of how much the job market has been changed by technology in the last several years, it’s no longer wise to go into a career thinking you’ll do it forever. I still wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do, so I thought that was another reason a broad degree would be best. I would have options. That backfired. It turned out that no one really knew what my degree was, so they shied away. They also wanted experience, which I didn’t have. So, I ended up in a job, which my college degree helped me get, that I don’t enjoy at all.

I was thinking about going back to school for another degree. I was researching options, and getting excited. I would go back in the fall. And then, it happened: A positive pregnancy test and a due date for September. Ok, so I would have to wait a little longer to go back to school. In the meantime, I would stay where I’m at. After all, the insurance isn’t too bad, and I’m going to need that over the next several months.

I worked at a daycare in college, and I decided then that I didn’t want my child in daycare. I don’t know what will happen come September. I’m kind of leaving it up to God. In the meantime, I started researching daycare costs in the town we work in, and where we do all of our business. Daycare will take 40% of my take home pay. And then, I read that in this county, almost 60% of daycares are only 1 star facilities. That isn’t very comforting! After I read that, I started researching ways to work from home. So, please pray that either Dean’s job picks up enough that we can afford for me to stay home, or that I can find something to do from home to make up for my income. It’s funny how much God has changed my view and my dreams in the last few years.

P.S-  I told you it was a long story.

Pregnancy Schedule

This is what my little raspberry looks like now. Ok, so the little doll doesn’t actually look like a lemon, but they’re about the same length. This whole, I’m 13 weeks and 3 days, so I’m in the 14th week thing is still kind of weird, but here we are:

Did you know at this point, although a baby is only about 4 inches long, it is making facial expressions? Crazy stuff. My child will need an array of expressions to be able to react properly to Dean. Yes, baby…Daddy’s kind of weird.

Anyway, at the size of a lemon, this baby already thinks it’s in charge. I am no longer in charge of my own body. If it says eat, I better eat, and fast. It is trying diligently to change my sleep schedule as well. I now wake up several times during the night to go to the bathroom. When it finally slacks off, and I can really get some sleep, it’s time to get up. I would be happy to be accommodating, and sleep till 7 or 8am, but I have this thing called a job. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about unborn children, it’s that they do not listen to reason.

5 Things I’ve learned about Pregnancy so far…

1. Approximately 50-90% of pregnant women have morning sickness. I am one of the lucky ones who have managed to avoid it (thus far).

2. It is imperative that I eat on time. If I get too hungry, I start feeling nauseous.

3. Acne is a symptom. No kidding, my face resembles that of a teenage boy. So much for that “pregnancy glow.”

4. I hold my breath while putting on mascara, because the smell bothers me. It doesn’t make me nauseous, it just bothers me.

5. I am more easily annoyed. My most current annoyance is that it is not consistently 70 degrees or above, and sunny. I would appreciate the next 6 months being sunny with a high of 75 (not too much wind, maybe a light breeze)…everyday.

Prenatal Appointment #2

Yesterday was my second prenatal appointment. The first one was mostly an information session, so this one really got down to business. Before my appointment, I had to have blood drawn. At the appointment, they poked and prodded, and asked questions and answered questions. I guess I should get used to that. They took blood samples, and other samples to check for everything under the sun. They asked if I had any questions, but I can never think of any while I’m there. In fact, when I do occasionally think of something to ask, I forget what it was before I get to where I can write it down.


She reminded me to eat lots of protein, and fruits and vegetables, etc. Ok, I can do that. She said avoid fast food. I can do that too. She said limit sweets: cakes, cookies, pies. Yep, that can be done. And, she said limit bread. Say what? Now, let’s not get crazy.

Last, but not least, we heard the heartbeat. It’s a very comforting sound. I get a little nervous sometimes, because I can barely keep a plant alive. Good thing my body pretty much takes care of that for me, and I don’t have to rely on talent or skill. It was beating at a strong 160 bpm. That seems fast, but the smaller something is, the faster their heart beats. An elephant’s heart beats only 12 times per minute, if you want to compare. I wonder what the heart rate is for a blue whale.

We don’t have results back from any of the tests, but I’m not worried. I think it’s safe to say I don’t have HIV, and I’ll be interested to know my blood type. I go back every four weeks until about 6 months, then I’ll go every two, and toward the end, every week. It was a good day.

I Dreamed a Dream

This whole being pregnant thing is still pretty surreal. I’m almost 11 weeks now, but for the most part, I don’t feel much different. Life, aside from planning for the changes to come, is still pretty much the same. Sometimes, it’s hard to imagine motherhood. That’s a whole new ballgame, with so many responsibilities and changes. It’s hard to grasp. Other times, I stare off into space and daydream about warm spring days, hanging out with a small child. Oh, I’m going to have fun…blowing bubbles, catching lightning bugs, it will be like recapturing the wonder of childhood all over again.


Life has turned out nothing like I imagined it. I imagined going to college, and getting a degree. Check. I imagined having a career that I loved and looking forward to getting up every morning to be able to do something I enjoy thoroughly. Uh… Not check. It’s not all bad though. Some things have turned out differently, because my dreams have changed. I always thought I’d have kids (although mainly, because I didn’t want to be an old widow with no family left, and adoption was my plan for getting them). In high school, I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I thought that equated to a lack of ambition, and success. That’s one area in which my dreams have changed. I’ve come to believe that it’s good to stay home with your kids. That particular belief changed after I worked at a daycare/preschool. I decided I’d take care of my own kids, thank you very much. The idea of having my own kids, as opposed to adopting them, changed when I got married. My precious husband always wanted kids. Love does funny things to a girl.

Now, I’m at a strange place. I don’t know if I’m at a crossroads so much as a place where dreams collide, and merge. I still dream of some of the same things I did when I was young. I dream of a career that I love, that makes decent money, and that allows me time and means to help others in a big way. I also dream of staying home, raising my kids, baking banana bread, and greeting my husband at the door with a smile and a kiss. It’s safe to say, I dream of something bigger than what I have right now. I pray that God will take my dreams and shape them as He wants, and show me how to reach them. Hopefully, in the next several months, I can take the first step toward a bigger dream, a God-given dream.

Before the Beginning

I mentioned in my first post that we'd felt God leading us to stop taking birth control. I thought I'd share (and document) how it all went down.
In mid-late October, we started getting that feeling. We both thought it was crazy. Our plan was to wait until we got all of our student loans paid off, and Dean went back to finish his degree. Besides, we're in the process of building a 600 square foot apartment (and future shop building). It hardly seemed like the ideal place for a baby. We both kept feeling that pull, though.

It was time for me to take a week off of the pill anyway, so we decided to use that time to really dive into the Word and spend time in prayer to seek the answer. At the end of that week, we still didn't have a clear answer...and then it rained. Dean was working outside so rain meant he was off for the day. In my last quiet time, I had decided Dean was the head of our household, and it was now between him and God. I prayed that God would give him clear direction, and told them both I trusted them. My sweet hubby spent his rainy day reading and praying, praying and reading, and waiting. Finally, he looked at his watch, and it was almost time to pick me up from lunch, just enough time for a couple more chapters. He prayed again for an answer, and got back to reading where he saw the following words: "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate." (Psalm 127:3-5) Wow. That seemed pretty straightforward, so he continued to read, "Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table." (Psalm 128:3) And then he was convinced.

It was then that we were certain it was time to stop taking the pill, and leave it in God’s hands. We knew it didn't necessarily mean we were having kids anytime soon. We were just putting our trust in Him, and letting Him do His thing. We were further convinced, when only 2 months went by before our big discovery (and by that, of course, I mean a positive pregnancy test).

Doctors, Friends, and Challenges

Well, I had my first prenatal appointment yesterday. No big deal. Dean and I met with the nurse and gave our family medical history, got lots of information and picked up some freebies and samples. I go back in 3 weeks, at which time; I won’t get off so easy. I have to have blood work done before my visit, and the actual appointment will include lots of tests, and checking the baby’s heartbeat.


I’ve been pretty proud of myself lately. The nurse had told me when I called about scheduling an appointment that I needed to limit my caffeine intake to one caffeinated beverage per day. I’ve limited it to two per week, if that. I’m so disciplined. At our meeting yesterday, she reiterated the limit of caffeinated and carbonated beverages. Wait, what? No carbonation either?! Crap. I’ve done great with limiting caffeine, but I don’t like the water at work so I’ve been drinking Sprite about half the time. Looks like I’m going to have to start bringing my own water (or maybe juice or milk), or figure out some way to coax myself into drinking the water at work.

Now that the secret’s out, we’ve been getting some great reactions. Some people swear they knew weeks ago, or that they saw it coming. Others are surprised. Aside from our family’s reactions, Chris and Laurie (our college minister & his wife)  and Alex M. (a friend from college)  had the best. Laurie exclaimed “Yaaayyy!!” and told Chris who quickly joined in the celebratory exclamations of “Yaaayy!! Yaayy!” Alex responded with, “Yay!!!! What a lucky baby!!!”

As usual, Laurie was very encouraging. She told us not to be too nervous, because babies have never had parents before so they don’t know when you’re messing up. They also don’t have solid memories for a few years, so we have time to figure things out. Haha! This is why I love to talk to Laurie G.

Valentine's Day surprise!

The secret is officially out! Have I mentioned that it was a hard secret to keep? Whew!
We sat down to breakfast yesterday morning for Valentine’s Day with Dean’s parents, siblings, their spouses and our niece. We gave his mom and dad their valentine’s box, identical to the one we gave my mom. His Mom’s reaction was very similar to my mom’s reaction. She gasped, asked if we were serious (why do people keep asking that? Are we that cruel?) and jumped up to hug us. His dad teared up, and never stopped smiling the rest of our visit.
Once we released our mothers from their vow of secrecy (we made them wait until we had time to call grandparents and a couple close friends), it took about 20 seconds for my MIL to put it on facebook. In a matter of a couple hours, the whole family knew… and about a thousand other people.

It was a fun weekend. Lots of laughing, smiling, crying, hugging…and lots of pictures for a precious little niece’s first birthday. She is one cute kid. I hope she and our little raspberry will be great friends.

First Reactions

The beans have been spilled. Well, partially spilled anyway. We told my Mom & Dad last night. We’ll be telling Dean’s parents on Sunday. Ideally, we would have told them closer together, but this was the best we could work out.
My mother’s reactions included: squealing and jumping up and down…and moping about being sworn to secrecy (She’s not allowed to tell anyone until all the future-grandparents know). It will be interesting to see how everyone else reacts.

This weekend holds a 1st birthday party for our only niece, food, family, and a big announcement. It should be fun. I’m going to need to rest up. I’d crawl under my desk right now and nap if I could get by with it. Maybe Dean will feel sorry for me and drive the whole way to Kansas tonight while I sleep.

Technology-- God is AWESOME

Last Friday, I had an ultrasound. Normally, I wouldn’t have had one for several more weeks, but the PA at my doctor’s office decided to order one. She wanted to make sure my bladder infection was just that, and not a problem with the raspberry.


Lo and behold, there really IS a baby growing inside my body. We could see its tiny heart beating, and even got to hear it. What an amazing thing! It is only about the size of a blueberry, but there it was, loud and clear and beating at a strong 141 bpm. Dean says its athletic. If it is, it takes after Grandpa Brent and Uncle Jay—definitely not from Mommy’s side of the family.

Dean and I decided to tell our bosses last week, so they would understand why we keep taking off. (I went to the doctor once last week, to the hospital for an ultrasound once, and my first prenatal appt is next week) We’ve also decided to keep a tally when people guess the gender. So far its one and one. Aunt Misti told me a couple months ago she was praying we’d have kids soon, and that she was also praying we have a boy (She already has 2 nieces). Dean’s boss is betting it’s a girl. Time will tell.

Weather permitting, we will announce to our families later this week/this weekend. I’m anxious to see their reactions.

Willy Wonka

I hate being bloated! I’m just going to throw that out there. I put on a pair of pants this morning that I had worn just last week. Only, this time, I couldn’t fasten them. That’s a pleasant feeling…ugh. Luckily, I was prepared. Yesterday, I bought this handy dandy little stretchy band, the Bella Band (or Be Band in my case- the Target version). It fits over the top of your jeans to hold them up, so you can keep them unzipped and unbuttoned. Voila!


I never expected this to be an issue early on, but it is. I don’t eat any more than I used to, and I’ve been eating better. I’ve been exercising more consistently. I have a feeling this will not be the only rude awakening that pregnancy gives me. I feel like the girl on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory that ballooned up and had to be rolled out of the room.  It has also recently come to my attention that pregnancy can cause bladder infections. And, the fun begins!

Speaking of fun, we are planning to share the news with our family next week. That actually should be fun!

Dear Morning Sickness, Please Bypass Me...

My body is starting to toy with the idea of morning sickness. Once in awhile, I feel nauseous, but so far no vomiting and it doesn’t last very long. Let’s hope it stays that way. I’m still tired a lot. We were snowed in last Friday and through the weekend. That gave me 3 days to sleep in and relax. I felt so much better for those few days.


I’m experiencing another symptom quite a bit, as well: I’m bloated. Yuck! All but one pair of my pants are feeling tight. I’ve been reading some pregnancy message boards on Baby Center and parents connect and have learned that I’m not alone in that.

Dean and I have been throwing around names. Too early, maybe, but we’ve been talking about names since we got married. I love naming things- always have. It’s harder now, though. Naming a baby is way harder than naming a dog…or a car. Yes, I occasionally name cars. Weird? Possibly, but not as much so as naming bugs, which I also do. I’ve always done that too. When I was in kindergarten, our playground had lots of caterpillars. I would spend my recess naming them. When I was growing up, in the summer time at our house, you could always find garden spiders. I don’t normally like spiders, but these are big and pretty and fascinating…from a distance anyway. I would also name any of these that I could find. Naming is fun. Baby naming is a bit more complicated…but still fun.

An Appointment Has Been Set

I still have yet to have many symptoms, which is perfectly OK with me. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if I could bypass morning sickness, and any of the other yucky feelings. I’m very sleepy today. I guess there’s one symptom that’s hitting me.


My first prenatal appointment is scheduled for February 17 at 1:30pm. At least now I have something to look toward. Its 3 weeks away. It seems like a long time, but I’m sure it will go by faster than we think. I was kind of hoping to have it before we announce our news, but we want to tell them in person, and like the idea of doing it around Valentines Day. At least it’s close to that weekend.

Someone from the doctor’s office will be contacting the insurance company, and we’ll soon find out what they will cover and what they won’t. Hopefully, they’ll cover all or most of it. Either way, we will find a way to manage. We don’t have a choice, after all. Besides, we know that God decided it was time, so He will provide. I’m sure of that.

Strange feelings and Impatience

Pregnancy is a little strange. I am nearing the end of my fourth week of pregnancy, even though I have only known I was pregnant for a few days. At week 5, the baby (still an embryo at this point) is about the size of a sesame seed. That sounds very embryo-like, doesn’t it? Also at week 5, the heart begins to beat. Now, that doesn’t sound like an embryo. No, that sounds like a baby! The beginnings of a person, a new HUMAN BEING, are currently residing in my body. Strange.


As soon as I got a positive test on Monday, I called the OB. It sounded like a logical first step. My first question to Dean was, what do we do now? Calling the doctor seemed like a good move. The nurse asked me the date of my last cycle, gave me a few guidelines, and said she had to get the doctor to approve and then the doctor would see me at 8-10 weeks.

I am still waiting to hear back and it is driving me crazy. I left a message yesterday. I hope I’m not too overbearing over the next several months, but this is all very new to me. I think I would feel better if I could schedule an appointment, and have something to look forward to, a goal of sorts.

I have a feeling God is going to teach me patience in the next several months. I don’t want to learn patience. I want to just have it!

Expectations

I really thought that when the time came for us to find out we were pregnant; I would be excited, but a little apprehensive about things. I thought I would worry about jobs and money. I would have thought I’d worry about having a baby while living in a 600 sq ft building (although we’re not in it yet, we should be by then).


What I’m actually feeling, is peace. I haven’t worried about all of those things. I know God is in control. I know this is His timing. I’m just completely at peace. I told Dean that today, and he agreed. It’s going to be a wild ride, but it’s completely in God’s hands. I’m excited to see how He works in this. I’m excited for Him to use me to bring glory to Himself.

Starting To Sink In...A Little

Having such a huge piece of news, and not telling anyone is kind of strange. The doctor won’t see me until I’m at least 8 weeks. We are thinking about telling people, starting with parents, of course, around Valentine’s Day. That will be about 8 weeks so I’m hoping for an appointment the Friday before.


Right now, the plan is to give the parents a little box, with cute scrapbook paper inside that says, “Expected to arrive…Sept. 25” or “ETA: Sept. 25” or something like that. In the meantime, I am doing my best not to slip and give anything away.

It’s starting to feel a little more real. I’m trying not to plan too much just yet, though. The biggest chance of miscarriage is 4-6 weeks. Thinking of all the possibilities is fun. Thinking about the weird pregnancy symptoms or labor and delivery is pretty freaky.

I was reading about how it all happens yesterday, and how the egg gets fertilized and starts to divide, and about the 3rd week, forms a ball of cells (called a blastocyst) resembling a tiny little raspberry. We are now past this point, but the little blessing has nonetheless been dubbed “our little raspberry.”

The Beginning

Last Tuesday, I left work at noon with a headache and nausea. I figured it was a migraine like I sometimes get, and fully expected to go home and try to sleep it off. Well, sleep as much as I could between trips to hang over the toilet. That is the normal routine for me when I get a migraine.


I was surprised to have it turn out differently. The nausea went away before I even got out of Norman. The tricky part proved to be staying awake the remaining 20 minutes of the drive home. Once I got home, I went directly to bed and slept for 4 ½ to 5 hours. Surprisingly, I felt much better when I woke up. Weird! But, good.

Since we felt the Lord leading us to stop taking birth control in October, we knew what the possibility was. The next morning, I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. We weren’t really surprised. We figured it was a low chance, anyway.

On Saturday, I was supposed to “start.” When “Aunt Flo” didn’t show, even though the past couple months had been like clockwork, we still didn’t think much of it. Now, here’s the weird part. About the time of the headache, Misti (my SIL) dreamed I was pregnant and asked if I was. When Jay (my BIL) heard about the headache episode, he asked too. Saturday, Misti asked if I was sure, because she had dreamed it again. I told her no, because I was due to start that day and had already tested a few days prior.

On Sunday, Pastor Ed’s sermon was over family and Dean got a forwarded text message from his cousin about good things to come, like marriage, new baby, new job, etc.

When I still hadn’t started by Monday morning, Dean and I decided to test again. Just in case. POSITIVE. What? Yep, it’s true. Our lives are about to change drastically.

In speaking to the nurse at the OB/GYN office, I’ve learned that they start counting from the start of your last period. That puts my due date September 25, 2010. Another example of Gods timing, Christy W. texted me as I was writing this. She said hello, she missed me, and asked if there was anything she could pray for me. Is there ever!

Dean and I are both excited, and a little freaked out. It is such a comfort to know God is in control and that His timing is perfect. It’s a comfort to know I have such an amazing man whom I call husband and best friend, to embark on this journey with me. With my God, and my hubby, this will be just fine…even if my belly button pops out like a turkey thermometer and my feet grow a size bigger.